Self Exploration

Many of us go through life skimming the surface of our identities. That is, we don’t truly dig deeply into our thoughts, feelings, desires and dreams. Part of the problem is that we’re always on the go. When to-do lists keep swelling, self-exploration takes a backseat. How can it not, when we barely find time for self-care? Specifically, self-exploration involves â€Å"taking a look at your own thoughts, feelings, behaviors and motivations and asking why. It’s looking for the roots of who we are — answers to all the questions we have about [ourselves],† according to Ryan Howes, Ph. D, psychologist, writer and professor in Pasadena, California. Having a deeper understanding of ourselves has many benefits. It â€Å"helps people understand and accept who they are and why they do what they do, which improves self-esteem, communication and relationships,† he said. ————————————————- Here, Howes discusses how he helps clients explore their own identities, the potential challenges that can hamper self-exploration and the strategies readers can try at home. The process of exploring yourself is a meticulous one and takes determination and focus to accomplish. It means becoming aware of what’s important to you and understanding yourself, i. e. your values, interests, aptitudes, abilities, strengths and weaknesses. It is also a way to gain knowledge of what is a good fit or match for your personality type. Before you can explore the world of work or a career, you must first understand yourself. Start by asking yourself questions: â€Å"What do I want to do? † â€Å" What are my goals, dreams and ambitions? † Self-exploration is looking inside yourself and concentrating and focusing on you, your needs, and your future†¦not mom’s, dad’s, or your friends. This is not to say that what others have to say isn’t important. On the contrary, hear them out, but ultimately this important decision is yours. After all, you know you better than anyone else, even mom. This process of self-exploration may seem a little lame, but this is the foundation that makes good decisions great! Knowing your strengths and weaknesses can make all the difference! If you take the time to know yourself, or at least evaluate yourself, you will have a truer sense of what’s good for you, or should I say, better for you. Many people never take into consideration whether the career/job they’ve chosen is something that they are going to enjoy doing, whether it’s going to meet their needs professionally and/or personally. Many are just glad to have a job that pays decent wages. Yes, finances are important, but ultimately it’s more important to be happy. If you are not satisfied in your job it will eventually affect your work, your level of commitment to the job, those you work for and even your personal life. If you enjoy what you are doing, believe in it and you know why you chose to do it, you will tend to be more committed to it, better at it, and you’ll work harder to do it well. This commitment, this strong work ethic is what aims us towards achieving greatness. If we are happy, we look towards the future with determination, ambition, and goals. If we are just getting by in our job, could care less about whether we get the job done or even whether we come to work at all, we tend to wallow in our misery. We do more looking back at what could have been or should have been, and can only see the future as more of the same dissatisfaction. Success requires taking an active role in the growth and development of our personal and professional life. One way to get started figuring out who you are and what you want in life is to begin by evaluating your academic exposure. Look at the courses you’ve taken: both the ones' you liked and disliked. Of the classes you liked, what did you enjoy most about the subject? What made you dislike some of the courses? Why didn’t that class appeal to you? Does the class provide you with something that you can develop into a career? Next, consider what’s really important to you; things you value, interests you may have, skills and abilities you possess. Take some time and think about what you might need in order to be happy and ultimately successful in your job/career. For example, a few things to consider might be salary, geographic location, job autonomy, work hours, and professional growth opportunities, to name a few. Which ones of these, and/or others, are most significant; things that would make an obvious difference in whether we would enjoy our job/career? If you don’t take the time to consider who you are and what you want, you won’t know what you are looking for. You need to be aware that no job/career is going to be perfect and meet all of your expectations. But if you at least think about which things are more vital to your happiness and aim for those, you can come pretty close to what you want. Think about the skills and abilities you may have that you would like to utilize in your chosen profession (i. e. leadership, helping others, mathematical ability, creativity, communication, etc. Which careers give you more of an opportunity to express yourself and be yourself? Many people make the mistake of assuming that they can and will do just about anything for the right amount of money. Well let me assure you that this is only partially true. In the beginning, the money may seem like enough to sustain your job satisfaction and happiness, but soon everyone realizes that money alone is only a temporary fix. If you donâ₠¬â„¢t really like what you are doing, or like where you work, you won’t be happy and the money won’t ever be enough. Another way to assess your interests might be to consider careers that you may have already been exposed to through friends, family members or previous part-time and summer jobs, and even volunteer opportunities or internships. Talk to any persons you can find who may be doing something you think that you want to do, or have thought about doing. Really pick their brains about why they chose that profession, what do they like or dislike about their jobs, what’s a typical day like on the job for them? This is called informational interviewing. Also, draw from your own experiences about what it may be like to work full-time. What kind of supervisor would you prefer; do you prefer flexible or set work hours; do you like being in a leadership role, etc.? The best way to answer some of these questions is through an internship or co-op. If you have not considered an internship or co-op before, please do. Cooperative education and internships add meaning to the academic experience. Both offer the student the opportunity to gain practical experience. At the same time students can identify career interests and goals and relate them to academic endeavors. Most people believe that you don’t need to be concerned about figuring out who you are and what you want to do until you’re just about ready to graduate. Yes, this is one way to do it, but why wait until the last minute. You may realize that what you thought you wanted to do really doesn’t appeal to you at all. Self-exploration should be done early and often, as early as your junior year in high school, and at least once a year thereafter. The sooner you start to think about your future, the better prepared you’ll be for it. If you didn’t go this route, it’s still not too late to catch up. Find a career counselor on your campus and get started. There is often a certain amount of fear that goes along with making decisions about one's future. D. J. Parson, an Appalachian State University sophomore, stated, â€Å"When I first arrived, I didn’t have any idea how to get started choosing a major, not to mention what I was going to do with that major when I finished school. After I met with a career counselor and discovered a few things about myself, for example, what motivates me, things started to click and I was able to move forward. D. J. is not alone in his dilemma. As a career counselor, I encounter numerous students who are confused about how to go about making effective career decisions. Many are paralyzed by the mere thought they have to make decisions themselves for the first time. Their parents or someone else has always performed this role and now it’s their turn. Students are generally all over the map when it comes to decision-making. Some student s want to do it all, while others aren’t sure they want to do anything. They haven’t found their passion. I once had a student tell me, â€Å" If I can’t figure out exactly what to do, I’ll just stay in school longer; there is always graduate school. † One thing to realize is that figuring out who you are and what you want takes time and a lot of effort on your part. Through examining what you’ve enjoyed doing, what things come easily or naturally to you, what gives you motivation, what peaks your interests etc. , you will begin to put the puzzle pieces together. Bit by bit you will see a pattern developing. Next, realize that you can do just about anything you want and you can do more than one thing; you just can’t do it all at once. If you like lots of things and can’t seem to eliminate any of them, then your task is to select which thing you would like to do first and move on to the next at a later time until you have accomplished all that you want. The most important thing to remember is that nothing is 100 percent guaranteed. Life is about change and career planning and self-exploration are lifelong processes. You don’t just make a decision today and expect that you’ll be completely satisfied with that choice for the rest of your life. You will grow, experience things and meet different people. As society grows and technology develops, so will your interests change, grow and redevelop. Expect it; that’s life! However, this doesn’t mean that the choices you make today are worthless. They too will play an important role in your future. You will be able to draw on these experiences to help you assess yourself later when you want to consider new options, goals, and dreams. Sometimes, the task of putting all the pieces together can be a bit overwhelming and you may need to seek assistance from more experienced and knowledgeable resources. Three sources I recommend are your career counselor, your academic advisor and the Internet. Your career counselor is the most experienced of the three sources. A career counselor will be able to offer you not only his/her expertise through one-on-one counseling and advising, but also many more tools to uncover your true self. Counselors can provide career-specific library resources such as books and videos about certain college majors, careers within those majors, and companies that seek to hire graduates of those majors. In addition, career counselors provide career interest testing such as the Strong Interest Inventory, the Campbell Interest and Skills Survey, the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, the Self Directed Search, and the Kuder Occupational Orientation. There are also computerized career guidance programs such as SIGIPLUS, DISCOVER, and Career Key. All of these indicators help gauge your personality and interests, and compare them with others who are already in the field. A career counselor will then sit down with you and interpret the test results. Looking at the similarities of interests in different fields and types of careers, your career counselor will be able to show you many different options beyond the obvious ones you may have never considered, or even thought existed. Your academic advisor is another important source to consult about college majors and courses, as well as jobs related to the field. An academic advisor can help guide you through your four years of undergraduate study and help you stay focused on the courses needed to fulfill the requirements of your selected major. Lastly, another wonderful resource is the Internet. It can be a bit overwhelming with the amount of information readily available at your fingertips. You can query an occupation on the Internet and end up with hundreds of pages of information to help you better understand that occupation and many others. You can research job openings, internships, co-ops, and even scholarships, grants and loans for college financial assistance, etc. Here are some helpful tips to remember: * Remember to begin your exploration by taking a good look at you. Accept the challenge to understand yourself and to like who you’ve become, or the person you aspire to be. * ————————————————- Ask yourself questions and take the time to find the real answers. Self discovery was a process I thought I had already been through. But when faced with the question, â€Å"Who am I? † it proved to be a lot harder to put into words than one would think. I believe that I have a good sense of who I am, but translating it into words was a struggle for me. I consider myself to be a very concrete thinker. So, the translation of who I am into words tended to come out as cold and rigid. Words like brash, concrete, smart, and loyal seemed like a big â€Å"thud† on paper. At first I thought, am I really that boring and cold? Which then brings to question, is this really who I am? The following is my best attempt to put myself into words. I’m going to attempt to lighten up those rigid words I came up with to describe me and try to explain why I chose these words. Hopefully these explanations will bring life to them. The first word is brash and is defined as â€Å"offensively bold. †    You can either like me or not. I am strong-willed individual who does not take disrespect from anyone. I can defend myself in most situations. I can most often times convince others that I am right. I know how to think critically and make sound decisions when others fail to. I believe the second and third words go together in explanation for me. The second word is concrete and when used as an adjective, is defined as, â€Å"capable of being perceived by the senses; not abstract or imaginary.    The third word is smart and, also, when used as an adjective, is defined as, â€Å"characterized by quickness and ease in learning. †    I have the ability to sort through the â€Å"fluff† and get to the facts so I can make a good decision or form a strong opinion. I can make others question their own opinions or beliefs by flooding them with facts and evidence. In this way I am very persuasive a nd convincing. The final word is loyal. It is used to describe people of â€Å"unwavering in devotion to friend or vow or cause. † When it comes to those I love, I†¦